Romans 8:18-27

Have you ever felt so frustrated you are at a loss for words? Of course you have. Its something that everyone experiences. However, I have never felt it this intense before. What do I do? What would the Lord do with frustration? What is an appropriate response to frustration?

So I was reading Romans 8 and I came to this passage. I think its fitting for all struggles but such and encouragement to me tonight.

v. 18-21

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought unto the glorious freedom of the children of God."

It's encouraging to know that we will be free from all of this frustration and suffering. God's glory makes up for far more than we could EVER imagine!

v. 22-23

"We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies."

What does it mean by groan inwardly? My first thought is that we keep these frustrations in our hearts and instead of taking them to people, take them to God. Is this a correct thought?

V. 24-27

"For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will."

I love the words that are used here.

Weakness, we are weak but we are lifted up by the Spirit who provides us with the awesome strenth the Lord is offering to us.

Patience, I desperately hope for a more patient heart, a heart that waits!

Hope, I think hope is powerful. It shows faith and a positive view on what the Lord is setting our paths with.

Please, anyone who has thoughts, my heart will greatly appreciate what you have to say or suggestion of any other passages in His word to read.

Taking My Mind Off SomeThings By Sewing

When I was in third grade my mom was teaching me my times tables. I was having a very difficult time. She thought it would help me if she gave me an incentive: A brand new sewing machine. Once I learned 1x1 to 12x12 I earned it! I made my first pair of coolots and a matching scrunchy. Oh it makes me cringe what I wore and made, but
in anyway I made them all on my own (With moms help of course).

Well with spending a lot of alone time this week, I am trying to distract myself from many things. I decided to make a cell phone case for my new iphone. I kept looking on line for patterns and I went to Joannes to find a very pretty fabric. This is what I came up with.

The inspiration

There is a pocket in the front of the
case for my headphones.

I bought this button with in a pack of four for only $ 0.25!


I hand sewed the button hole, which I have to say
I am the most proud of, I think!

I am really excited I finished this project. I hope that I can make another case with the other pretty fabrics too!

Great Danes

He likes to cuddle

He likes to give kisses

Zeuz

Boaz

So, for the past week I have been dog sitting for these amazing dogs. Let me just begin by telling you "I am NOT a dog person!" I can live without the slobber and the shedding hair. I can live without the greasy hair and the wet noses in my face. I can also live without the smelly farts. But these dogs have been so incredible! GREAT DANES

Boaz is the dad. He is smaller than his son (about 130 lbs) and a lot more mellow. His eyes are old but so gentle. He loves to cuddle. On Sunday night I was laying in the recliner watching TV and Boaz put his front paws on the end of the recliner and walked himself right up next to me. I looked like i was sitting next to a horse!

Zeuz is the son. He has a body that is really built (150 lbs) and his eyes droop a little bit. He looks sad but is always playful. When I was brushing both of them today, Zeuz took his nose and nudged me because I apparently was not giving him enough attention.

So when I am by myself, in this big empty house, I don't feel so lonely and scared of the dark. I have two great big dogs taking care of me!

Living by myself has been a nice experience. I love hosting, but I love coming home to someone waiting for me. I don't think I will ever live by myself. I appreciate the company and feel much safer and loved when I am with people.

However, the things I have learned is a blessing, such as: Cleaning the house and keeping it tidy, going grocery shopping on a budget, taking care of two animals (somewhat like a baby), being a happy and gracious hostess or servant.

Finding the Lords Goodness in Everyday

Today I spent time with an amazing person. Lori Talbot. She spent two hours with me just listening. Listening to my problems and hopes. She gave me advice and thoughts on what she would do and she shared with me her heart. She also challenged me to do something.

Everyday I am to look for the good. Find what the Lord has blessed me with. I think this is a great way for me to think less about the negative and more on the positive.I think that people can sometimes dwell on their problems and discredit the blessings under their noses. Sadly, I have been doing this often.

So for today my blessed moments were with two people.

1. Lori listened and encouraged me. She shared her tender heart and told me she would pray for me and my family. Not just pray when she thought of me but sacrificial prayer.

I am so happy that she is a part of my life because she is such a great example of the Proverbs 31 woman.

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
Proverbs 31:25-26

2. Last semester, I interviewed a man from a seminary in Orchard Lake. His name is Lukasz /wukash/ it means Luke in English. He is leaving for California to continue his training in seminary, so he and I had coffee. I learned a lot about him during my interview, but today I learned more about his heart. He has such a passion for serving the Lord and keeping his ministry for Christ. And he is really sweet. He bought me two drinks at Caribou and a ginormous bar of milk chocolate. For someone who is going to live a celibate life he sure knows how a girl likes to be treated.

So for me our time together was wonderful. I thought that I was going to spend my night by myself, but we spent five hours talking. I loved it. He loves talking about his family and he loves talking about what he will do for God even more.

I think spending time with him helped me be thankful for my family. He has not seen his family in a year and he is waiting another year before he goes home to visit again. Two years without my family or a familiar home is difficult. The most amazing thing about his heart though is his faith. He trust God for what is going to happen in California. He has no idea what will happen but he is faithful.

Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."
Matthew 21:21-22

Today was a wonderful day filled with friendship, just what my heart needed.

A Woman's Heart

In honor of an emotionally draining week, I have decided it was a perfect moment to search for the beauty in the pain I feel or at least see beauty in what the Lord has helped me understand. What good am I to his calling if I can not come out on top of my struggles with learning and being blessed by them.

I was reading Thriving Family by the Focus on the Family organization, and I came across an article called Bringing Up Girls by Dr. Dobson. He really is an amazing man of God, and his words. that are given to him entirely from the Lord, inspire me very much. He wrote about the heart of a little girl and how her heart should be treated by her father, her brother, her husband, by her mother, and by those who have a relationship with her.

If you want to know a piece of my heart, I would like you to know my love for words. I think that God gave me this passion for them to feel His love more and more everytime I read or hear a specific word.

I think these words are a beautiful description of a girls heart and they have made me truly thankful for his captivating glory.

Delightful Unique Captivating Sensitive Tender Charming Soft Nurturing Compassionate Gentle Caring Wonderful Confident Beautiful Radiant Peaceful Precious Pure Blessed Diligent Joyful Fascinated Elegant Meek Adorned

So many words that describes what a girl should always feel. However, because of sin it is sadly replaced with pain. What a glorious God to have given us the healing for this wound though. Thank you Jesus for giving me the things that I long for.

Girls, my heart goes out to you, if you feel pain or shame. The Lord has forgiven us seven times over, and he wants to heal our broken heart. Let him be this for you, and know you are all of these words above. NO ONE can EVER take these true characters away from you, no matter the condition of your heart in sin or no sin. You need to believe in the grace you have been given and then believe that these things are true about you, You are AMAZING.

We are priceless gifts that need to be protected and treated delicately:

"Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies." Proverbs 31:10

The continued story...

For the remainder of my trip in Hungary, everyday was quite similar. We would share with classrooms about American universities. Sharing with the students there was a great way for us to learn how different we are here. We had a chance to just talk with them and get to know about their lives and what it was like for them growing up in Hungary or in some cases, other parts of Europe. I loved listening to their accents. They asked so many questions, and it was amazing that i could answer them.

After this time of classroom presentation we would do randoms in the commons of each university and share the gospel. The basics of what would happen is this: Me and my new friend Sandor, (sanie- /shawnie/ for short)
I thought it was great that we were paired together during this week, our names matched well :)

Anyway... We would approach a student, and introduce ourselves. I would tell them that I was from America, and that I was working with an organization called CRU (in Hungary it would be called FEK). Sandor and I would ask them questions written in a survey. They pertained to their lives such as "Where do you think you will be in five years?" and "What do you want to do with your life?" Then we would get deeper into the heart of our purpose there. We would ask them question about God and who or what they thought of Christianity. Finally if they let us, we would go through a diagram with them.

I had never done a diagram with someone until that week, it was amazing. The pictures that were representing Christ helped me to be clear and precise. Sandor, thank the Lord was with me every step of the way :) Thank you Sanie!

My interview at church

Seana @ Yahoo! Video

I was able to talk a little about my trip to Hungary in front of the church on Sunday. There is more to come about the trip. Hope you can be patient until this weekend. School is kicking me in the butt this week.

An arrival worth the sleep we deserved

After all the chaotic mess of flight cancellations, long waits in the airports and expensive airport food, we finally arrived to Budapest.

We still had four members of our team stuck in Paris for the night do to a strike the airport staff had gone on. One member of our team had not received her luggage, and one team member carried salsa over for the staff in Hungary only to find that the jar broke and was seeping into all of his nice cloths.

With the news of our arrival the staff prepared a short orientation for our partial team. Then off to a fancy boat tour for dinner.

We were so exhausted from the travel and jet lagged, that the girls were having a difficult time being social. The boys ate their food with joy and finished off the girls. After two hours of delightful conversation we headed back to our Hotel Classic. It was a quaint little hotel that resembled a bed and breakfast. It was very cute and unique to each guest, every room was different. I had the square room, and very pink room!

Off to bed we went, and slept very well!

Hungary for Budapest

So it has now been 10 days since I have returned home from the amazing country of Hungary. I will not say that my life has been changed, however I have learned a great deal about myself, my country, and about what I know I have been called to do. I had a four hour conversation yesterday with someone about this trip, and I didn't know that I had that much to say.

It was amazing!

So here is a glimpse of the time I spent in this beautiful city of Budapest...

Sziasztok

Sziasztok is hello to several people... sziasztok family. So far this trip has given me a greater understanding for the amazing need for God in Hungary, but most of all for the passion that is needed in America. I cannot get over the amzing encouragement I have received from the Christians here in Budapest. Their hearts for the broken and lost in Hungary is heavy. When I think of my own heart for Americans at home, I feel conflicted over the apathy I have and the rest of our culture. Passion is the best word I can use to describe what Hungarians have for Christ: passion, love, appreciation, understanding, and awe.... all things I hope to aquire and radiate!

Please continue to pray! Isten áldjon minket! (God bless)

Yes I like Snow, but...

SO TODAY IS THE DAY! I left for Budapest. Oh boy have we had an adventure!

Snow: So we hear at about 11:15 am that our flight from New York to Budapest may have been canceled because New York is expecting more than 15 inches of snow. We pray :) I love it!

Step one... We get to the airport and find out there is only an hour delay. That is not bad at all. So we continue our way in the baggage check line.

As two team members checks in their bags, the third does an attempt at it but finds out, ALL FLIGHTS TO NEW YORK HAVE BEEN CANCELED... AHHHHH

Step two, we wait....... for 3 maybe 4 hours before we find out that we may not get out of Michigan until... Monday??? We pray again!

We went back and forth with the airport about when we could leave for maybe an two hours and find out some solid news.

Good news: we can leave Saturday morning.
Bad news: only nine can go Saturday morning, the other four have to leave Sunday night.

Need less to say it was very challenging! Lots more prayer.

Chaotic, exahsting, and adventurous... I'm still in Michigan!

However, tomorrow morning at 8:40am I'll be on my way to Chicago with a 7 hour layover. Maybe I can see my baby brother??? :) I would be very excited if I could. Then from Chicago to Amsterdam. And finally from Amsterdam to Budapest arriving on Sunday around noon.

God for sure has a plan for the way he made things happen today, but we are so clueless as to what it is. I'm encouraged through conversation. Maybe God has it planned that someone in this unpredictable mess will come to know the Lord.

Please pray that our flights are safe, and pray for the second half of our team, so they are not discouraged and disheartened from waiting longer.

Pray for whoever it may be that we come to know that their heart is opened and ready.

God bless that 20ish inches of New York snow!

Tiny little snow flakes

make life so much more fun when you get a phone call at 6am telling you that there is a snow day! I love these days, because 1) i get to sleep in! 2) I get to do homework without stressing and 3) I get to stay in my pajamas all day!

Okay so now that there is only 4 days until my trip, I'm getting so excited! I have to send out all my thank you letters and I have to pack but I'm ready. Sharing does not seem that intimidating right now and for that I am so thankful!

I hope that taking pictures will be just as fun! Get ready Budapest here we come.

Prayer:
1) Can you all pray that the Holy Spirit will work in our hearts as well as the hearts of the students in Budapest.
2) Will you pray that this next week I find some time to prepare my heart for the trip. I have been so busy, that I feel overwhelmed with it all.
3) Will you pray that my mission is not just in Budapest but in the states too. What I mean by that is, I want my support to be a mission, and the plane ride there to be a mission, my conversations be a mission, my plane ride home to be a mission, and my testimony when I get home to be a mission. Please pray that my mission doesn't stop in Budapest but continues on in Michigan.
4) Please pray that I am able to get some awesome pictures in Budapest. This is a passion and I want to share what I get in Budapest with everyone at home!
5) Please pray that I can find a special Hope Chest item to bring home. Someone very special gave me money to find something I can keep forever, and I would really like to make that possible. I want to be able to find something that will show her my appreciation, but also something I can genuinely only get from Budapest :) I want it to make her proud.
6) Please pray that through this week my heart can be open and ready for change.
7) Will you prat that God will provide at least one person I can see be changed by our time there.
8) And lastly, what I can think of, Will you pray that I can build relationships with my team members that will carry on through the rest of my life. I want to be an encourager to them and get to know them on a deeper level.

Open The Eyes of My Heart Lord...

I was sitting in Eastern's auditorium with the set up crew for CRU on Thursday, and I have to say how wonderful it is to be with some really awesome Christians that love the Lord. Especially Justine, I'm so blessed to have that girl in my life. She has been such a great person to talk to these past few months, and her heart is so open and she is so helpful in keeping me accountable!

So this will be the trial run on updating this blog via itouch. I want to be able to tell everyone how my days in Budapest are going the day they happen. It would be so great if it worked out that way.

My support came in all ahead of schedule. I feel so blessed. Everyone who is praying and sending gifts, thank you. You too will be blessed by this trip. God is going to work in all of our hearts and show us some amazing things.

So today I woke up around 10 and started doing my homework. Now, here it is 10 and I'm not done. I will no longer work on these things tonight. My thoughts are going absolutely crazy right now. You know how it is when something is sitting on you heart? You try your hardest to concentrate on the here and now but sure enough your mind trails off. That is me right now.

It's difficult to work in those conditions, but thank goodness for the release Christ allows us to feel.

Procrastination + Good Story = Pretty Awesome

Ever find yourself writing in a blog rather than doing the five page paper you should be writing? Mmm... yes that is me and that is what I should be doing. Any way facebook is no longer an interesting place to procrastinate because of all the silly applications and games. Although I would like to share, I found the most interesting thing about an old acquaintance from high school.

I will not disclose her name, so we will call her Jane. Jane was one of the most popular girls in high school, not for looks, but for her attitude, spunk, and fearlessness. We had our last class in high school together, and I remember her talking about the things she would be doing with guys and what she did last weekend with some older college friends at a frat party. They were not pleasant stories. I was sad for her because she did tell me at one point she didn't know if she could ever be in my position as a Christian. She thought it was boring. At that time in my life, I probably portrayed it that way for some reason. I wish I hadn't, but there is more to this other story.

So today I found her on facebook through one of her status posts. It was a very encouraging note about God. I was shocked. not because it was about God, but because the quote showed something deeper that she was learning. I was curious about what else she posted, so I followed her status' back a ways and almost every post was about her change of heart, how she was lost but now she is found, how she was so thankful for Jesus and his undying love.

Oh my goodness. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. This girl who I thought was so lost was now so found. I wanted to say something about what I was seeing in her, and tell her I was encouraged, but I didn't. But I WAS encouraged. I'm happy she found the Lord and pray she continues on that path.

Let's take one step at a time

Official rule of thumb never be surprised when God shows up in ways you thought were too small. Today was a wonderful day to spend with friends and God. Although it didn't go the way I expected He came through.

Some may know that on February 19th, my mom and step dad will officially be divorced. When I found out a few months ago, my heart was a mess. I was angry. So very angry that my parents failed their marriage. I was bitter and hurtful towards them. I was the only one of the kids that knew and it hurt even more that I was holding a nasty secret and hiding emotions they didn't know they too were going to be feeling.

However, my heart has began to soften and I am understanding that it's not me that my mom and step dad look to, but God. Despite their feelings and decisions, the Lord loves them. This is humbling and also very comforting.

Today my sisters found out. Faith is well. She is strong and finds hope in God which I'm so thankful for. Lacie is about the same. Her heart is hurt, but because she is young she doesn't see the hardship that will come. I sometimes wonder if that is a blessing in disguise!?! Kirstin, however is hurt. She is 13 and at that age everything is painful. She is a very sensitive woman and she also holds a lot in. I'm praying that she continues her walk with God and express those frustrations with HIM. If you think of it, pray for my family's hearts especially Kirstin.

I have a good feeling that if this divorce does not miraculously disappear, which I have faith it still could, that our family will grow closer in love, at least us kids. My siblings and I have grown so much closer in the past year through this and I am encouraged by that.

The verses I shared with my sisters was James 1:2-4 My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.

and the Lords Prayer, Psalm 23:4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

If anyone has any other verses that could comfort us all I will greatly accept them.

Blessing the Spaghetti

The last seven hours of tonight I have spent with all very special people. After the emotional day I experienced I wanted to go home and finish it alone locked in my room, but I had an event to attend with my fellow CRU behind the scenes people. I was bringing the salad to go along with our spaghetti dinner. My heart for the night was burdened with much thought about life and responsibility, I didn't want to spend my night discussing feelings.

So as I shopped for the ranch dressing and the perfect romaine lettuce I prayed for clarity and patience. Oh, how the Lord answers prayers!

After the delicious spaghetti that Troy and Adam made for us, we played a game. The game was serious, where we needed to share the heritage of our lives, the hand of God visible in our lives, the hardships we have experienced, and the happiest moments in our lives.


As we went around the room sharing in a group of twelve our hearts poured out. Never before have I felt so vulnerable with a group like this. I couldn't believe the amount of hurt we have all experienced and the amount of joy that has come from these struggles. God was so present in our sharing. He made sure that everyone of our stories affected all the others in someway.




I know that every story I heard, I felt so blessed to hear. I loved the trust that we shared and will continue to share in the future. As this group of leaders for CRU grows in number, our bond as the behind the scene members will become stronger. I'm so glad for this experience.

When our hearts were all laid out, we played some less serious games and stayed in a state of laughter for four hours. I'm so blessed to have a strong circle of friends.



Thank you Lord God, for the beautiful friendships that were established and made stronger tonight. You are so good to us when we do not deserve it. You give it to us anyway and that is an indescribable act of mercy. Thank you Lord Jesus!

Hearts shared...

I know that what is said in a group is what stays in the group, however I just want to share with you how impressed I am with the hearts that some of these girls in Impact have. Many times I found myself jaw dropping amazed by their thoughts and knowledge about who Christ is, what he has done for us, and what we need to be for Him. For any mothers who may read this, I want you to know that your girls have amazed me and touched my heart. I have learned so much about the way a teenage girl thinks again. It really has not been that long but I forgot so easily. I feel so blessed to be a leader and to have been able to share that moment with them. I'm not worried that they wouldn't seek deeper relationships with each other and God while they spend time with one another . I ask the Lord to bless them tonight as they sleep and to soften their heart further throughout this lifetime.

The beginning...

As of two weeks ago, I was excepted to the College of Education at Eastern. I'm ecstatic, but apprehensive about the work load. So far in school I have been doing well on keeping up. So lets hope I continue on that habit!

I'm still watching the little ones two days a week. Today my dear Luke told me the sweetest thing... "Seana, when I grow up you're going to marry me." So I responded with enthusiasm "I am? Luke, I would love to marry you." He was quick to tell me "You should ask your mom." Of course I wanted him to be the gentleman, so I said "I think because you're the boy you should ask her." So quickly he responded "Mmmm... I will when I am five!" No sooner. He made that clear. Who could resist such a proposal?

I'm so excited for everyone to know that I will be going to Budapest, Hungary very soon. Campus Crusade is taking us on its fourth and final trip to this location on February 26th. It will be the first time in four years since I have asked for support but I'm really excited to see how God works. Grace Church has already told me they will help support me, which relieves some from the cost.

To be completely honest I'm going to tell you... I'm terrified of what I will do there. Sharing my faith is never an issue, it's sharing to people I don't know. All I think is... Where are they coming from? Are they hurting? What do they want to hear? How can I reach them? I'm so relieved that the Lord knows the answers, I just wish I could too.

My prayer for tonight is that the Lord will lead at least one person in my path that will come to find Jesus. I hope that who ever this person is will be blessed tonight and will have an open heart to what we will bring to those in Budapest. I also will pray that I don't take control of who it is but let God work His wonders! Pray with me.