The Lord Longs to be Gracious!

It has been over a year. i have moved on to newer places and better conditions. In the beginning of August, I left my home in White Lake for a closer commute to school in Ypsilanti. The process in getting here were months in planning, emotional for relationships, but adventurous in every way!

I was blessed by God to have found two amazing women to share my adventure with, Jenny and Leah. These beautiful ladies have been at my side to cry when my heart was aching, laugh hysterically until my sides were so tight i couldn't move, and talk till our eyes couldn't stay open any longer. I have also been blessed and humbled by my imperfections. I now understand why many people feel the need to live with someone before they get married. You don't know what you will get until you live with them. Well for me, i was used to asking for things and sharing my space and being open about most personal business. However, i learned quickly not everyone was like that, and that i am controlling and over protective. I have had to fight with my thoughts that it was or wasn't angering or even hurting them. I'm gaining a better understanding of our personalities and how they need to work together to live with one another.

It's only been a month since we have been together and yet we have grown so close. They have been a inspiration and an encouragement in many ways!

Along with the excitement of moving, I had the pleasure of going to several weddings, 6 to be exact! It was an incredible summer and I call it the summer of commitment. I learned about marriage and the true meaning, I learned about waiting, i learned about friendship and being a maid of honor but I think learning about "waiting" was the biggest theme in my heart this summer.

I have been struggling for a long while now, seeing many of my high school friends get married, have babies. The babies, I believe, I can wait for, NO PROBLEMS, but the engagements are what keeps getting to my heart and stinging the wounds.

I saw so many young couple weddings, but there was one that made me step back and reflect. It was a women, whom I respect and cherish greatly! She waited patiently, and sometimes painfully, for God to guide her towards the time of life she would marry. This summer was that moment I watched her, from a distance, become giddy and melt into the arms of her husband.

I saw them kiss, and I saw them hug, I saw them look into each others eyes playfully, and I saw them dance. When I saw them dancing, i saw so many delights. They danced as if no one was watching them and they held each other tightly. God revealed to me their patience and the blessings that come from it, true delight in one another and devotion that is too difficult to break.

I am confident the Lord will reveal the time for me, but until then my heart is his. I will devote myself to his word, and delight in his plan.

Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for Him! ~Isaiah 30:18

Romans 8:18-27

Have you ever felt so frustrated you are at a loss for words? Of course you have. Its something that everyone experiences. However, I have never felt it this intense before. What do I do? What would the Lord do with frustration? What is an appropriate response to frustration?

So I was reading Romans 8 and I came to this passage. I think its fitting for all struggles but such and encouragement to me tonight.

v. 18-21

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought unto the glorious freedom of the children of God."

It's encouraging to know that we will be free from all of this frustration and suffering. God's glory makes up for far more than we could EVER imagine!

v. 22-23

"We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies."

What does it mean by groan inwardly? My first thought is that we keep these frustrations in our hearts and instead of taking them to people, take them to God. Is this a correct thought?

V. 24-27

"For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will."

I love the words that are used here.

Weakness, we are weak but we are lifted up by the Spirit who provides us with the awesome strenth the Lord is offering to us.

Patience, I desperately hope for a more patient heart, a heart that waits!

Hope, I think hope is powerful. It shows faith and a positive view on what the Lord is setting our paths with.

Please, anyone who has thoughts, my heart will greatly appreciate what you have to say or suggestion of any other passages in His word to read.

Taking My Mind Off SomeThings By Sewing

When I was in third grade my mom was teaching me my times tables. I was having a very difficult time. She thought it would help me if she gave me an incentive: A brand new sewing machine. Once I learned 1x1 to 12x12 I earned it! I made my first pair of coolots and a matching scrunchy. Oh it makes me cringe what I wore and made, but
in anyway I made them all on my own (With moms help of course).

Well with spending a lot of alone time this week, I am trying to distract myself from many things. I decided to make a cell phone case for my new iphone. I kept looking on line for patterns and I went to Joannes to find a very pretty fabric. This is what I came up with.

The inspiration

There is a pocket in the front of the
case for my headphones.

I bought this button with in a pack of four for only $ 0.25!


I hand sewed the button hole, which I have to say
I am the most proud of, I think!

I am really excited I finished this project. I hope that I can make another case with the other pretty fabrics too!

Great Danes

He likes to cuddle

He likes to give kisses

Zeuz

Boaz

So, for the past week I have been dog sitting for these amazing dogs. Let me just begin by telling you "I am NOT a dog person!" I can live without the slobber and the shedding hair. I can live without the greasy hair and the wet noses in my face. I can also live without the smelly farts. But these dogs have been so incredible! GREAT DANES

Boaz is the dad. He is smaller than his son (about 130 lbs) and a lot more mellow. His eyes are old but so gentle. He loves to cuddle. On Sunday night I was laying in the recliner watching TV and Boaz put his front paws on the end of the recliner and walked himself right up next to me. I looked like i was sitting next to a horse!

Zeuz is the son. He has a body that is really built (150 lbs) and his eyes droop a little bit. He looks sad but is always playful. When I was brushing both of them today, Zeuz took his nose and nudged me because I apparently was not giving him enough attention.

So when I am by myself, in this big empty house, I don't feel so lonely and scared of the dark. I have two great big dogs taking care of me!

Living by myself has been a nice experience. I love hosting, but I love coming home to someone waiting for me. I don't think I will ever live by myself. I appreciate the company and feel much safer and loved when I am with people.

However, the things I have learned is a blessing, such as: Cleaning the house and keeping it tidy, going grocery shopping on a budget, taking care of two animals (somewhat like a baby), being a happy and gracious hostess or servant.

Finding the Lords Goodness in Everyday

Today I spent time with an amazing person. Lori Talbot. She spent two hours with me just listening. Listening to my problems and hopes. She gave me advice and thoughts on what she would do and she shared with me her heart. She also challenged me to do something.

Everyday I am to look for the good. Find what the Lord has blessed me with. I think this is a great way for me to think less about the negative and more on the positive.I think that people can sometimes dwell on their problems and discredit the blessings under their noses. Sadly, I have been doing this often.

So for today my blessed moments were with two people.

1. Lori listened and encouraged me. She shared her tender heart and told me she would pray for me and my family. Not just pray when she thought of me but sacrificial prayer.

I am so happy that she is a part of my life because she is such a great example of the Proverbs 31 woman.

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
Proverbs 31:25-26

2. Last semester, I interviewed a man from a seminary in Orchard Lake. His name is Lukasz /wukash/ it means Luke in English. He is leaving for California to continue his training in seminary, so he and I had coffee. I learned a lot about him during my interview, but today I learned more about his heart. He has such a passion for serving the Lord and keeping his ministry for Christ. And he is really sweet. He bought me two drinks at Caribou and a ginormous bar of milk chocolate. For someone who is going to live a celibate life he sure knows how a girl likes to be treated.

So for me our time together was wonderful. I thought that I was going to spend my night by myself, but we spent five hours talking. I loved it. He loves talking about his family and he loves talking about what he will do for God even more.

I think spending time with him helped me be thankful for my family. He has not seen his family in a year and he is waiting another year before he goes home to visit again. Two years without my family or a familiar home is difficult. The most amazing thing about his heart though is his faith. He trust God for what is going to happen in California. He has no idea what will happen but he is faithful.

Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."
Matthew 21:21-22

Today was a wonderful day filled with friendship, just what my heart needed.

A Woman's Heart

In honor of an emotionally draining week, I have decided it was a perfect moment to search for the beauty in the pain I feel or at least see beauty in what the Lord has helped me understand. What good am I to his calling if I can not come out on top of my struggles with learning and being blessed by them.

I was reading Thriving Family by the Focus on the Family organization, and I came across an article called Bringing Up Girls by Dr. Dobson. He really is an amazing man of God, and his words. that are given to him entirely from the Lord, inspire me very much. He wrote about the heart of a little girl and how her heart should be treated by her father, her brother, her husband, by her mother, and by those who have a relationship with her.

If you want to know a piece of my heart, I would like you to know my love for words. I think that God gave me this passion for them to feel His love more and more everytime I read or hear a specific word.

I think these words are a beautiful description of a girls heart and they have made me truly thankful for his captivating glory.

Delightful Unique Captivating Sensitive Tender Charming Soft Nurturing Compassionate Gentle Caring Wonderful Confident Beautiful Radiant Peaceful Precious Pure Blessed Diligent Joyful Fascinated Elegant Meek Adorned

So many words that describes what a girl should always feel. However, because of sin it is sadly replaced with pain. What a glorious God to have given us the healing for this wound though. Thank you Jesus for giving me the things that I long for.

Girls, my heart goes out to you, if you feel pain or shame. The Lord has forgiven us seven times over, and he wants to heal our broken heart. Let him be this for you, and know you are all of these words above. NO ONE can EVER take these true characters away from you, no matter the condition of your heart in sin or no sin. You need to believe in the grace you have been given and then believe that these things are true about you, You are AMAZING.

We are priceless gifts that need to be protected and treated delicately:

"Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies." Proverbs 31:10

The continued story...

For the remainder of my trip in Hungary, everyday was quite similar. We would share with classrooms about American universities. Sharing with the students there was a great way for us to learn how different we are here. We had a chance to just talk with them and get to know about their lives and what it was like for them growing up in Hungary or in some cases, other parts of Europe. I loved listening to their accents. They asked so many questions, and it was amazing that i could answer them.

After this time of classroom presentation we would do randoms in the commons of each university and share the gospel. The basics of what would happen is this: Me and my new friend Sandor, (sanie- /shawnie/ for short)
I thought it was great that we were paired together during this week, our names matched well :)

Anyway... We would approach a student, and introduce ourselves. I would tell them that I was from America, and that I was working with an organization called CRU (in Hungary it would be called FEK). Sandor and I would ask them questions written in a survey. They pertained to their lives such as "Where do you think you will be in five years?" and "What do you want to do with your life?" Then we would get deeper into the heart of our purpose there. We would ask them question about God and who or what they thought of Christianity. Finally if they let us, we would go through a diagram with them.

I had never done a diagram with someone until that week, it was amazing. The pictures that were representing Christ helped me to be clear and precise. Sandor, thank the Lord was with me every step of the way :) Thank you Sanie!